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Hopper turns Nullwing's offhand remark about being 'comfortably unhappy' into a company-wide retention strategy, only for Nullwing to point out every company already does this.
Hopper bursts into Nullwing's desk area, excited, saying he's been thinking about Nullwing's 'comfortably unhappy' comment from their 1-on-1.
Nullwing turns to face Hopper with a guarded expression and asks 'And?' while Hopper grins, about to reveal his big idea.
Hopper pitches making all engineers 'comfortably unhappy' — not miserable enough to leave, not happy enough to ask for raises — while Nullwing stares in horror.
Nullwing turns back to his screen, deadpan, coffee raised, and says 'You just described every company I've ever worked for' as Hopper's smile freezes.

Employee Retention Strategy

January 02, 2025

Management reveals their innovative approach to keeping talent. Nullwing is not impressed.

  • hopper
  • retention
  • corporate-absurdity
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